I've been threatening to get in on this blog action for quite a while now, so I've finally dragged myself round to doing it tonight. I'm claiming the backseat urination in the Disco Wagon as a mere publicity stunt, you know, get people talking. Insert publicity cliché here. I can assure you all that I was thinking about when unzipping my jeans was how much my stock would rise throughout Newcastle. You don't think of the long term consequences of doing something like that, you just grab the opportunity with both hands (honestly) and run.
I know it's only Monday, but it's been fairly hectic already. Went into town to discuss a new business venture with local tycoon Dan Maguire. My boss had sent me to grab her a steak bake from Greggs, the pastry church of the North East. This somehow led to Dan and myself discussing the possibility of manufacturing low-fat pasties. We've got a couple of fillings in mind- namely the stench of one of our good friend's super strength cheddar breath. Dan also discussed financing the invention by getting a Ferrari on finance and selling it off. There's a good chance the business won't take off as much as we'd hoped.
I was bored at work today, so I thought I'd be a little ringpiece and cyber-bully someone over Facebook. I only started my job last week and it's a hell of a lot better than the mind numbing 12 hour marathon shifts, selling cheap mobile phones to misinformed pensioners that I used to have to tolerate over on the call centre Mecca that is the Cobalt. The girl who had this new job before me pretty much got sacked, so I thought I'd piss her off by messaging her and offering my condolences, before asking if she fancied taking my dog for a walk sometime. She wasn't very forthcoming so I tried to sway her decision by telling her I would pick all of the dog shit up. That didn't seem to work too well either to be honest, but being the trooper that I am, I kept trying my luck. She's now going to email one of the directors of the company because I've been 'harassing' her, so I'm pretty gutted to say the least. I don't even have a dog.
Everyone seems to post music on these things so why break the habit of a lifetime? I grew up listening to hip hop and still love it now...well the older, jazzier stuff anyway. None of that chick-on-my-dick garbage. 'I Used to Love H.E.R' by Common is still one of my favourite tunes now. Personifing hip hop as a woman all the way through the track is some clever shit!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y12YgEIFcAY
